The Wilderness Years

3 Keys To An Exit


The Wilderness Years. 3 Keys To An Exit. Picture of a worried woman looking for an escape to her problems.

What Are The Wilderness Years?

The wilderness years can be described as any lengthy time, longer than a year, that is spent aimlessly; without an immediate purpose, or without a current goal.

As a place, the wilderness is a region that is uncultivated and uninhabited by humans.

The internal psychological, emotional and spiritual landscape of the wilderness state is one of being unable to find one's way, of aloneness, bewilderment, confusion and disconnection.

The state and experience of the wilderness years differs from similar states such transition or limbo.

In transition you know where you have come from, and in the state of limbo you know where you want to get to, but the wilderness is a state that has no clearly defined beginning or end, and it can drag on for a lot, lot longer.

In this article I am going to tell the original story of the wilderness years and take a look at some of the key insights from that story, plus 3 keys  to an exit from the wilderness years which are based on personal experience.







The Wilderness Years - The Biblical Story



In the sacred books of each of the Abrahamic faith traditions there are references to the presence of what we would now refer to as Israeli tribes located in the land of Goshen, a region within ancient Eqypt.

The exodus

The Judaic Torah and Christian Old Testament record the legend of the exodus of these tribes c 1200 BCE from the bondage of slavery in Egypt, under the leadership of Moses, towards what they believed to be their promised land known as Canaan or Palestine.

The promised land

The land of Canaan was located in the Levant region of modern Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, and Israel. This was the land they believed to be promised to them by their god JHWH (Jahweh/Jehovah)

Leaving aside all modern sensitivities and sensibilities about land grabs and genocide, and the theological difficulties of how a God of love could sanction such a strategy, this was their goal and destination.


The journey

The modern Egyptian city of Zagazig is located north of Cairo in the eastern part of the Nile Delta. This area was known as the land of Goshen in ancient times. The modern Israeli city of Tel Aviv (Jaffa to the ancients) is located on the Mediterranean coast and could be regarded as the coastal epi-centre of ancient Canaan.

According to Google maps the distance between these two cities is 779 km which takes 9 hours 19 mins by car, and 153 hours if you were sufficiently foolhardy to walk it.

However, looking at maps based on that historical period you could have made that journey traveling about 200 km and could have accomplished it in about 10 days on foot on the Horus Way – the ancient Egyptian equivalent of a modern coastal motorway linking ancient Egypt and Canaan.




Why did it take so long to travel so little distance?

So why do the narratives of this exodus tell us that it took the Israeli tribes forty years years of meandering around the wilderness regions of the Sinai peninsular to accomplish their objective?

To put this in context, we are talking about several hundred thousand semitic tribes people stuck in transition between Goshen (Egypt) and their promised and declared objective of Canaan - a mere 200km away - for forty years, which was the duration of a lifetime in that era.

So what happened, and why?

According to the ancient narrative, their leader Moses sent 12 spies into the land of Canaan to assess the wealth and prosperity of the land they were to conquer, and to assess the strength of the military defences the Israeli armies would have to overcome.

10 spies returned overwhelmed with the potential spoils of victory but entirely negative and defeatist in their assessment of the Israeli's chances of military success. Only 2 spies returned with positive assessments.

The narratives recall that the Israeli tribes-people sided with the negative view and JHWH (their god) was incensed at their:

  • Low expectation
  • Fear of failure
  • Lack of trust
  • Lack or loss of vision

The wilderness was part of their direct route to the "promised land" and should have taken about 10-12 days if they had followed the direct Horus Route. But they spent 40 years meandering around the Sinai Peninsular because of their negativity and lack of faith in their god to empower them to take possession of the land by "divine right of conquest".



    The presence of any of these factors can prolong your experience of the wilderness years: low expectation, fear of failure, lack of trust or loss of vision.




What they had to learn

The narrative recounts how that JHWH cursed them to spend 40 years in transition until that generation of no faith had all died, and a new generation emerged with a:

  • New identity
  • New way of doing things
  • New vision and sense of mission

These themes are universal to the transition experience.

Damaging diversions and distractions before the transition is complete

However, the narrative recounts that their leader Moses had to help the emergent generation address some dangerous and potentially damaging diversions that represented the old way of thinking:

  • A return to the past - The pull of nostalgia of getting back to "how things used to be" is very strong in times of doubt and uncertainty.
  • An escape into weird or inappropriate solutions - The worship of gold idols or the lure of easy/instant riches and "get rich quick" schemes are a deadly cul-de-sac and undermine the new vision.
  • An early exit to greener fields - Moses had to contend with this one as people looked longingly at some of the tribes that they passed along the route, and joined them. Short cuts out of the transition process can not deliver because the necessary lessons are not learned.
  • An impulse to rush - Moses had to deal with people who didn’t see why they couldn’t enter the Promised Land much sooner, but they weren't ready and had not learned the lessons they needed to, to be able to enter the promised land.

These diversions are the product of the ego mind looking to re-gain control. 

The temptation to engage with any of these distractions is totally understandable but ultimately pointless as it will do nothing to progress the process of transition and will likely prolong, or permanently postpone, your emergence from the wilderness years.







Lessons From The Wilderness Years


The 3 stages of the transition.

There are many reasons why we can end up in a wilderness experience, here are 3 of the most common:

  • Poor Choices - Sometimes this experience may be the consequence of poor choices and bad decisions, but this is not always the case.
  • Alignment - For some who go through this experience it is about alignment. They have a sense of purpose and a deep commitment to their objectives but events are not in their favour and the wilderness years are a price that has to be paid until conditions and circumstances align in their favour.
  • Randomness - Another factor that we often underestimate is the random nature of events, especially unforeseen events.

At time of writing few of us would have anticipated the recent pandemic or the Russian invasion and war of aggression against the people of Ukraine.

Yet these things have happened and the consequences of these events have had a dramatic effect on many people's lives. Lives have been lost, employment and wealth has been destroyed and the societal and political after-effects will continue to work themselves out for years to come.

History is littered with examples of people great and small who have been subject to the experience of the wilderness years.

The reasons for their experience are varied but the dominant theme for those who have successfully emerged is universal:

How you have ended up in the wilderness is of far less consequence than the lessons to be learnt while you are there.







The 3 key lessons

In my experience, there are 3 key lessons to successfully navigating your route to an exit from the wilderness years, you need to:


1. Undergo the transition process

The transition process is actually a 3 stage process which starts with

[a] Recognition and coming terms with that which has ended or been lost.

[b] Moves into a neutral phase where critical psychological realignments and re-patterning takes place.

[c] Finally the new beginning phase where a new identity emerges, a new energy is experienced, together with a  new sense of purpose.

You will remain stuck in the wilderness years until you move through this process.


2. Accept the gestation period

Life works in cycles and that does involve waiting, and a significant aspect of the wilderness years is a gestation period.

A gestation period can be of varying length, it may be a few weeks of months and it can be many years. As a general rule, the larger the objective and outcome the  longer it takes.

The attrition factor of the endless waiting is what wears so many people down especially when they see little or no growth or progress. This can cause you to doubt your purpose, or succumb to one or more of the diversion and distractions outlined above. In the worst case scenario, to admit defeat and give up.


3. Recognise limbo and transform the "dead time" into "alive time"

Once you have entered the transition process and have understood and accepted the gestation period, the next issue to address is what to do   with your time.

I have found that rather than just sitting around passively in limbo until better times arrive, it works far better to spend your time consciously and constructively learning, growing, developing and growing.

Limbo is transformed when you use it as an opportunity to do what you've long needed to do.

When you emerge from the wilderness years you want to be to look back with a healthy pride and satisfaction at what you have achieved during this time and to have something to show for it. 



    How you have ended up in the wilderness is of far less consequence than the value of the lessons to be learnt while you are there.










Next Article: Lost Stuck & Going Round In Circles?

Return from "The Wilderness Years" to: Walking The Talk


Contact me







English Chinese (Traditional) Russian French German Italian Spanish Vietnamese




If you have found this site helpful and would like to support our work


LATEST ARTICLES

  1. Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System

    To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…

    Read More

  2. Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated

    Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill. We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…

    Read More

  3. Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going

    The Helsinki Bus Station Theory Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…

    Read More

  4. Zen Thoughts Email Series

    Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…

    Read More

  5. How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure

    Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…

    Read More

  6. How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments

    "The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…

    Read More

  7. Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience

    Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself? Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer. When you can do this you will have a powerful t…

    Read More

  8. Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet

    Standing In The Gap In Conditions Of Imposed Change. This is about imposed change and surviving a dire and desperate situation where you are stuck in a difficult or seemingly impossible set of circums…

    Read More

  9. Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See

    We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the ground. The phrase "preparing the ground" is a metaphor for making the necessary preparations to create the favourable conditions for something to…

    Read More

  10. Easing The Weight Of Expectation

    Don’t you often feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back? Our start point is understanding that the ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be, and its intention and ex…

    Read More

  11. Coram Deo - Living In Consciousness

    In you there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are. Coram Deo is about living in consciousness. It is a Latin phrase which literally means “to…

    Read More

  12. The Power Of Patience - Why You Need The World's Toughest Quality

    Nothing in the world can take the place of patience. Patience and persistence are omnipotent. In everyday life, patience is often overshadowed by the desire for immediate results. We live in an era of…

    Read More

  13. Demonizing The Other and Personal Acts Of Compassion

    What Does Demonizing The Other Mean? Demonizing the other refers to the act of portraying a group of people or an individual as inherently evil, threatening, or inferior. It often serves to justify di…

    Read More

  14. Why You Should Embrace Anomalies - The Incredible Value Of Disconfirming Evidence

    Is Your Desire To Be Right Greater Than Your Desire To Have Been Right? An anomaly is a deviation from what is expected or commonly regarded as the norm. It often appears as an unexpected observation…

    Read More

  15. Amazing Grace - The Majesty And The Mercy of Freedom From Your Pain

    "I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind, but now I see." The hymn and popular song "Amazing Grace" was written 250 years ago by John Newton, a former slave trader who in 1748 nearly died in a…

    Read More




3 Keys Solutions



The Balanced Toolkit