This website contains about 700,000 words. You could read every single word and it wouldn't make any real difference to you. You might become better informed, but that won't change you.
The act of acceptance involves turning towards pain.
Acknowledge with humility your suffering, your brokenness and your pain and allow something bigger than your suffering to open within you.
The power of acceptance is the freedom that it gives you.
Freedom from the tyranny of your thoughts and emotional responses to the events and circumstances of your life.
The transforming power of acceptance is that it:
Acceptance is the foundation stone upon which all personal change is built.
It is also the foundation of ACT [Acceptance Commitment Therapy] and a range of other mindfulness based therapies:
"Clients learn to stop avoiding, denying, and struggling with their inner emotions and, instead, accept that these deeper feelings are appropriate responses to certain situations that should not prevent them from moving forward in their lives.
With this understanding, clients begin to accept their issues and hardships and commit to making necessary changes in their behavior, regardless of what is going on in their lives, and how they feel about it."
Carl Jung believed that acceptance and spiritual interconnectedness were crucial to a person's recovery.
Practising The Power Of Acceptance
The Deep Acceptance Process
The key to this process is simplicity.
Do not think it, just run with whatever comes up.
A good place to start is with your resistance.
An Example
WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am thoroughly pissed off and think this is a stupid bloody process."
I ACCEPT THAT: "I am thoroughly pissed off and think this is a stupid bloody process."
WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am upset and angry because a business deal I thought was going to happen this month hasn't and has been postponed to next February."
I ACCEPT THAT: "I am upset and angry because a business deal I thought was going to happen this month hasn't and has been postponed to next February."
WHAT AM I FEELING? "I am disappointed and upset because my earning from that project was going to pay for the healthcare and family of a good friend of mine in Asia."
I ACCEPT THAT: "I am disappointed and upset because my earnings from that project were going to pay for the healthcare and family support of a good friend of mine in Asia."
WHAT AM I FEELING? "I feel that I have let them down."
I ACCEPT THAT: "I feel that I have let them down."
WHAT AM I FEELING? "My son's dog [that I am dog sitting today] is barking and annoying me, and I feel that I want that bloody dog to shut up."
I ACCEPT THAT: "My son's dog is barking and annoying me, and I feel that I want that bloody dog to shut up."
It may take just 5 minutes or it make take 25 minutes but what you will find after a number of iterations of this process is that the answer to the question: WHAT AM I FEELING? is "I am feeling calm, I feel present, I am peaceful."
If you are not feeling calm and peaceful, you haven't finished the process so continue until you are.
Remember, that you run with whatever comes up with no filtering. If you feel pain and anger - say it. If you want to swear and use angry, offensive and abusive language - say it.
If you want to curse God [trust me, you won't die!], life, your partner, your ex-partner, your parents, anyone and everyone who you feel has let you down and done you wrong...
If you feel shame, pain, regret...
Just say it - whatever it is, whatever comes up - and accept it.As with all mindfulness practices the hardest part of this process is just doing it! Check out the story of the leper and the dirty river.
I have used this deep acceptance process many times and it always works.
Further Reading On Acceptance:
How to Make Friends with Your Beautiful Monsters
Further Reading:
Amazing Grace - The Majesty And The Mercy of Freedom From Your Pain
Next Article:
Stop Thinking - Discover The Benefits Of Having Space In Your Mind
Return from "The Power of Acceptance" to: Walking The Talk
LATEST ARTICLES
Outcome Over Optics - Long Game Outcomes Over Short-Term Ego Gains
The Day I Learned To Focus On Outcome Over Optics I have never forgotten the day I learned to focus on outcomes over optics and figured out a very simple way of saving myself several hundred thousand…
The ETTO Principle - Why Near Enough Can Be Good Enough
How To Balance the Efficiency-Thoroughness Trade Off The ETTO Principle describes the inherent trade-off between working efficiently and working thoroughly. This trade-off is something that affects…
Master The Art Of Drawing The Bow
Focus On Process Not Outcome In so many areas of our lives, we focus on the outcome, not the process that we follow to achieve it. In the western world, we are conditioned to pay less attention to how…
And So This Is Christmas
There Is No Path To Peace - The Path Is Peace Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, often spoke about peace as a state of being that begins within on…
Curiosity Skilled The Cat - Optimize For Interesting
Curiosity Fuels Excellence The old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat,” warns of the dangers of venturing too far into the unknown. But what if we reimagine it not as a risk but as a gateway to developi…
Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System
To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…
Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated
Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill.
We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…
Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going
The Helsinki Bus Station Theory
Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…
Zen Thoughts Email Series
Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…
How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure
Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want
The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…
How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…
Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience
Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself? Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer. When you can do this you will have a powerful t…
Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet
Standing In The Gap In Conditions Of Imposed Change. This is about imposed change and surviving a dire and desperate situation where you are stuck in a difficult or seemingly impossible set of circums…
Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See
We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the ground. The phrase "preparing the ground" is a metaphor for making the necessary preparations to create the favourable conditions for something to…
Easing The Weight Of Expectation
Don’t you often feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back? Our start point is understanding that the ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be, and its intention and ex…