Living Authentically - Your Choices And Your Responsibility
Rising above your circumstances and framing your own meaning in events
What Is Existentialism?
Existentialism is a movement as much as it
is a philosophy and is grounded in
the work of Kierkegaard and Nietzsche in the 19th century.
Existentialism:
Views human existence as having no meaning other than that which you choose to give it, and
Is about living life authentically by making your own choices for which you alone accept total responsibility.
It gained traction and became fashionable in the mid-20th century. This was the post-war era of the rejection of absolutism, and a period of systemic challenges to the
political and societal status quo. It was also the time
of the emergence of the “swinging sixties”.
Existentialism provided a language for what was seen as the problem of life as
a human being faced with a bewildering array of choices, in a world of absurdity devoid of any inherent meaning, and for which you hold total
responsibility.
“Existentialism is an attitude that recognizes the unresolvable confusion of the the human world, yet resists the all-too-human temptation to resolve the confusion by grasping toward whatever appears or can be made to appear firm or familiar…
The existential attitude begins with a disoriented individual facing a confused world that he cannot accept."[Robert Solomon].
Existentialism rejects the idea that this somehow must be the will of God/Joss/Fate and understands that because
of the world's absurdity, anything can happen to anyone at any time and a
tragic event could cause any of us to face this absurdity.
The
existentialist therefore concludes that in the face of all this the
only valid response is to see meaning where we choose to see it.
Commentary:
The
chaos, despair and destructiveness of the world as we often experience
it is undeniable and frequently inexplicable in its randomness.
Therefore to conclude that it is absurd is understandable but frankly
naive.
That we can not see a meaning, point or purpose does not
mean there isn't one, it simply means that it is beyond our grasp i.e.
we don't know and we don't know what we don't know, nor do we have the
wherewithal to determine how we could know.
So, rather than adopting the petulant posture and stating "it's absurd" the more reflective perspective is one of humility that says "I don't know" and that has the grace to accept that "I don't know".
The existentialist
conclusion, that the meaning of an event or situation is what we choose it to be, is a practical and empowering
position to adopt, and one which I support.
However,
the framing of that meaning needs to be exercised with discernment and
care, and aligned with your values and sense of purpose in life.
To
assign ameaning based on wish fulfillment or magical thinking, whilst
gratifying in the short term may cause more
damage than you are seeking to mitigate -in the longer term.
In this point and the following two points we really get into the zone of existential posturing and tautological fancy foot-work, with self conscious word-play, this is classic Sartre territory!
As I noted above with facticity, as a non-philosopher/lay person wading through the tortuous mangling of the English language by philosophers to try figuring out what on earth Sartre meant by the "the other" and "the look" I found both painful and time wasting!
To be charitable to Sartre, he lived in an age before the rise of social media. Fortunately for us we have this as the perfect illustration of what I believe Sartre meant.
In simple terms, we have a view of ourselves that we feel is a true expression of how we are, and then someone comes along and observes us doing something [anything] and we become aware of their "look" and by implication their implied judgement, approval or disapproval of us and this changes how we see ourselves.
This used to be called "worrying about what other people think of us"!
In the social media age, the bar of the facticity of other people's lives is set so high that it can make you feel inadequate.
These social media postings are of course curations of discrete packets of events that frame you in the best possible, most sexy and desirable light.
Then you wait for the likes! The more likes the better the outcome. You feel affirmed...until the next time...!
To change gear and use "Sartre" language:
"Seeing the self defined by the view of the other gives rise to a self-reflective consciousness..."
Commentary:
What Sartre describes is valid but it is about the behaviour of deeply insecure people who are neither secure nor comfortable in themselves.
Most successful people do not generally overly concern themselves with this, if they did, they wouldn't do what they do and enjoy the success that they do.
Most good leaders have a similar outlook. They have to, to be a good leader.
The big take away on this point is to be more aware of the impact of your "look" in your interactions with other people and especially with those with whom you may be in some form of mentoring role or where you are in the role of a person of direct influence.
“You will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.” [Mark Twain]
How Does Existentialism Align With The Themes Of This Site?
The purpose of this site is to show you how to cope in tough times, and to
provide you with the tools to do this successfully:
This all about learning how to think not what to think, and knowing how to apply the most appropriate cognitive processes to the task in hand.
To really learn how to think effectively we have to learn and master the art of not thinking. A quiet mind is an insightful mind and a resourceful mind.
With this in mind, we have no interest in "shooting
the breeze" and "chewing the fat" over philosophical ideas and
psychological models and theories. This is not an undergraduate
discussion forum.
Our focus is intensely practical. Is there
something here of practical value that we include in our tool kit and
apply in daily life?
[1] Key Themes Of Existentialism That Align With The Objectives Of This Site
Rising above your circumstances. You are not defined by the facts of your life. It is your human spirit that empowers you and brings a transcendent dimension to your life, and it is here that you truly differentiate yourself, and that over time change the facts of your life.
The power of framing. How you mentally characterize a situation has a profound impact on how you respond to it emotionally. Your decision to consciously ascribe the meaning of an event or situation, or of life in
general, is an empowering
position to adopt.
Living life authentically. Making your own conscious choices rather than doing what some external third party entity or belief system expects you to do is empowering. This does not mean that you will automatically reject others' expectations, it means that whatever decisions you make are your conscious choice.
# Ignoring thinking skills and cognitive distortions
Knowing how to think is more important than knowing what to think.
Attempting to address the big and confusing questions in life without adequate and sufficient proficiency in thinking skills is like trying to grasp a bar of soap in a warm bath in the dark.
The human capacity for self-deception and miss-perception should never be underestimated. A working knowledge of the main cognitive biases is a prerequisite to applying thinking skills.
# Ignoring the limitations of language and beliefs
There are profound limitations to language and for all that we gain by being able to articulate a philosophical perspective with dexterous use of tautological fancy footwork we
lose an equal if not greater amount of the full potential meaning of that perspective by the very process of articulating it.
An
educated obsession with words ensures that the reader/listener confuses being
informed about with having experience of.
There is
always a context, and framing and agenda in the choice and use of words. For
example, what I mean to say to you in this article and what you hear may
not be the same thing!
A more resourceful perspective is to view belief systems as a guidance rather than, as presented, as an immutable certainty.
Beliefs, are there to serve a purpose and to be adapted, adjusted or released when that purpose is served.
# Rationality vs Gnosis - ignoring right brain and the heart
Rationality is only one [important] aspect of how we find meaning and truth. The traditional scientific and metaphysical approach to this is thought based and uses intellect, rationality and logic etc.
There is a growing scientific acceptance of the noetic approach to research and discovery.
What if truth can't be fully known or understood using the faculties involved in scientific method?
What if we can can only know truth by experiencing it?
What if the heart is as good, or better, an indicator of truth as rationality?
What if the existentialists were looking in the wrong place with the wrong tools?
# Not recognising the limits of free choice
Free choice is a wonderful idea and the words roll of the tongue easily.
But whilst we may have a free choice in principle, in practice there are considerable limitations and restrictions on our free choice that are not fully recognised by existentialism.
# No place for balance, wisdom, discernment and insight
Existentialism is good at making the big dramatic soundbite statements about existential angst, dread and despair but I have yet to discover what it has to offer in terms of tools and resources to help those suffering from angst, dread and despair...
The qualities and skills of a balanced perspective, wisdom and insight and especially discernment are hard earned and much needed.
It is these qualities that should be the foundation for authentic living and the exercising of free choice together with the robustness to be able accept and live with the responsibilities that come with those choices.
# Ownership & comprehension are precursors to rejection
Any fool can sound off and reject a belief system or a differing perspective, but the minimum prerequisite for an authentic rejection is a basic comprehension of the strengths as well as the weaknesses of that which is being rejected.
Unless you have held [owned] a belief and have developed a considerable comprehension of it you are not in a position of sufficient knowledge of the belief system to reject it.
I fully accept that I may be guilty of this is my treatment of existentialism and if that is the case I will stand the challenge.
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