Zen Tools Blog - Insights & Features
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To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts.
To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quieter presence to communicate.
We spend our entire life imprisoned within the confines of our own thoughts. We are quite literally lost in thought.
To let stillness speak is not about some woolly, fuzzy, feel-good vibe. This is about accessing a consciousness that lies deep within you - far deeper than thought.
Continue reading "Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System"
Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill.
We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself.
We automatically lean towards a fairly mechanistic view of life that sees life as a complicated system, and this in turns leads us to having expectations based on our perception of how things will work out.
Inevitably our expectations are frequently unfulfilled and we get frustrated and anxious.
We treat life as though it is a complicated system, whereas in reality life is a complex system, and so we set ourselves up for failure.
Continue reading "Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated"
The Helsinki Bus Station Theory
Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference?
Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly motivated to break new ground. Yet after a while you get discouraged as you realise that what you thought was your own special individual approach is very similar to the efforts of many other people.
Then it gets really tough as you find that what you thought was your own unique journey is identical to the work of thousands of others.
The key to succeeding in any long term creative activity lies in understanding the operations of Helsinki’s main bus station!
Conversations With A Friend
Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months.
The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a tough time.
The messages offer practical mindfulness based suggestions to help you see your situation in a fresh light and to offer proven practical resources, all of which I have used and found helpful.
This series is free and there is nothing on sale here!
I hope that something here resonates with you.
Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want
The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend.
The challenge is to make sure that you are measuring the right things and with the right metrics.
The bigger challenge is that those things that create the value are often hidden or invisible.
If you do not understand, or can not see, the things that are creating the value you will struggle to measure them.
The purpose of this article is to draw attention to this distinction and to offer some practical suggestions as to how you can identify and monitor these critical intangibles.
Continue reading "How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure"
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it."
This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of coverage in social media and deservedly so. I am not very interested in tennis, but I have always taken great pleasure in watching him play in major tournaments.
In common with each of the top players he had a remarkable capacity to focus on the shot in play and to put everything into that shot.
Then, regardless of the outcome of that shot, he put it behind him and played the next shot as if his life depended on it.
To become a master at overcoming hard moments when dealing with specific tasks in your working life and in your personal life you need to learn these basic skills:
Continue reading "How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments"
Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself?
Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer.
When you can do this you will have a powerful tool for breaking free from self-imposed limitations, improving performance in all areas of your life, and increasing your overall well-being.
In this article I show you how and why you have these thoughts and to give you the tools to drop the story that is holding you back and making your life a misery.
Continue reading "Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience"
Standing In The Gap In Conditions Of Imposed Change.
This is about imposed change and surviving a dire and desperate situation where you are stuck in a difficult or seemingly impossible set of circumstances and it just goes on and on and there is no end in sight...
No-one would chose to live like this but millions of us do and are living in conditions of change that are imposed upon us.
We have hope, even if only a little, the flame still flickers for a brighter better future.
We stand in the gap between no longer and not yet. But how?
Continue reading "Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet"
We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the ground.
The phrase "preparing the ground" is a metaphor for making the necessary preparations to create the favourable conditions for something to happen or succeed.
The business as usual approach tends to focus on tangible things, things you can see, but these basic principles for preparing the ground can also be applied to things you can not see. Things such as how to:
Continue reading "Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See"
Don’t you often feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back?
Our start point is understanding that the ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be, and its intention and expectation is inextricably linked to circumstance. It has no sense of interconnection and the bigger picture.
As a result of this we favour the visible, the embedded, the personal, the narrated, and the tangible; we scorn the abstract.
When reality doesn’t match that expectation the result is frustration and pain.
Here are some practical guidelines for easing the weight of your own expectations.
In you there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are.
Coram Deo is about living in consciousness.
It is a Latin phrase which literally means “to live before God”, "to live in the presence of God" or "to live face-to-face with God". The phrase first appeared in the late 4th Century Latin version of the Bible known as "The Vulgate".
For readers not aligned with a Christian perspective, and who are followers of other faiths, or who are not aligned with any faith tradition, we can see this as living a daily life that is aligned with the highest consciousness.
In this article we are taking a closer look at:
- What Coram Deo means.
- Three "Pegs In The Ground" to understand why this matters.
- Two "Frames of Reference" for how you can live this.
- Key Benefits of why you would want to live like this.
Nothing in the world can take the place of patience. Patience and persistence are omnipotent.
In everyday life, patience is often overshadowed by the desire for immediate results.
We live in an era of instant gratification, we want microwave results where waiting even a few seconds for a webpage to load can feel like an eternity.
From a bigger picture perspective and beyond the annoyance of everyday frustrations, the power of patience in difficult circumstances is that it fosters resilience in the face of adversity which allows us to weather setbacks and failures without losing sight of our objectives.
Patient people are resilient people who persist in their efforts. Here's how to develop the power of patience.
Continue reading "The Power Of Patience - Why You Need The World's Toughest Quality"
What Does Demonizing The Other Mean?
Demonizing the other refers to the act of portraying a group of people or an individual as inherently evil, threatening, or inferior.
It often serves to justify discrimination, violence, or marginalization against the targeted group. This behavior is commonly observed in conflicts, political rhetoric, and social dynamics where one group seeks to vilify and dehumanize another.
A current example of this is the response of many people towards the Israeli military action against Hamas in Gaza and the devastating effects of this action on the Palestinian people and their property.
The use of dehumanising language against Israel has given rise to wide spread anti-semiticism. Israel in turn has adopted similar language against the Palestinian people whereby Palestinians are blamed for their own victimisation, and cease to be considered human.
This behaviour have been seen throughout history.
So how should I respond? What can I do to alleviate the suffering of others?
Continue reading "Demonizing The Other and Personal Acts Of Compassion"
Is Your Desire To Be Right Greater Than Your Desire To Have Been Right?
An anomaly is a deviation from what is expected or commonly regarded as the norm. It often appears as an unexpected observation that defies conventional wisdom or established theories.
It is frequently regarded as an abberation, a nuisance or an inconvenient interruption to a long cherished assumption.
There are two fundamental reasons why you should embrace anomalies, and they are both related to your long term health wealth and happiness:
[1] The identification of new and unrecognised opportunities.
[2] The avoidance of ignored risk and disaster.
Please read on to find how to do this...
Continue reading "Why You Should Embrace Anomalies - The Incredible Value Of Disconfirming Evidence"
"I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind, but now I see."
The hymn and popular song "Amazing Grace" was written 250 years ago by John Newton, a former slave trader who in 1748 nearly died in a shipwreck off the coast of County Donegal, Ireland.
Folk singer Judy Collins released what became a very popular a version of this song in 1970 and described it as: "a song of hope and healing. It has a feeling about surviving terrible things. But it gives you a moment of hope. Sometimes that's all you need, isn't it?"
In this brief article I want to offer some practical suggestions as to how you can experience this amazing grace in your life.
Continue reading "Amazing Grace - The Majesty And The Mercy of Freedom From Your Pain"
Experience The Power Of Acceptance.
This website contains about one million words. You could read every single word and it wouldn't make any real difference to you. You might become better informed, but that won't change you.
There is one word in amongst the other 499,999 words on this site that does have the power to change you and to transform your life - if you choose to act upon it.
This one word describes one simple teaching and one powerful practice.
That word is acceptance.
How To Avoid The Unwanted Outcome.
The power of opposite thinking, also known as inversion, lies in its ability to stimulate creativity, enhance problem-solving, and provide a fresh perspective on challenges.
It is especially useful when launching a new initiative or attempting to resolve a difficult problem.
Instead of focusing on how to achieve a desired outcome, you consider the opposite – how to avoid the undesired outcome. Here's how to do it:
Continue reading "Inversion - The Power Of Opposite Thinking"
We tend to see that which aligns with what we believe, and to act upon that rather than acting on reality.
Being aligned with reality starts with a clear and accurate understanding of the world. It means perceiving and understanding the world as it truly is, without distortion or delusion.
Alignment has been described as:
"The key to success nobody ever taught you. The person who aligns themselves with the general principles of the world goes further and faster than the person who doesn’t."
This sounds simple but is hard to put into practice. Here is how to do it.
Continue reading "Are You Aligned With Reality? Or Do You See What You Believe?"
A New Approach To A New Life
At time of writing we are entering a new year which is traditionally a time of making resolutions to change our behaviour and improve the quality of our lives.
And yet powerful as this motivation is, it remains an aspiration, a figment of wishful thinking without a clear focal point for personal action together with steps to making it happen.
The law of response and outcome provides that focus.
Are you are ready to move beyond aspiration and wishful thinking?
There are two ways to handle the world - try to predict, or try to prepare.
"Clear Thinking" by Shane Parrish, published in Oct 2023, is a laudable testament to the art of cogent thinking, and will be of interest to those invested in the developing and improving their thinking skills.
The first half of the book is about identifying the enemies of clear thinking and creating the mental space for reasoned thinking.
The second half of the book is about how to practise clear thinking by acquiring the necessary skills and making them your defaults.
He concludes with some practical considerations of why you would bother to do any of this anyway.
Continue reading "Clear Thinking - Turning Ordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results"
Self Dialogue Is About Working With ALL Levels Of Your Mind.
The key to effective self dialogue is to have tools, techniques and resources that work with all levels of your mind.
This simple self-facilitated technique that I am going to share with you here will enable you to do two things:
[1] To access your unconscious and "hard to reach" parts to enable you to break and change habits and to overcome your inner resistance to personal change.
[2] To access, experience and communicate directly with your higher or transcendent self to give you the power to actually follow through and make these changes and have them stick.
Continue reading "Self Dialogue - Working With Your Many Selves"
How To Experience The Benefits Of A Balanced Brain.
Underpinning all of the belief systems and practices that offer routes to personal change, transformation and spiritual growth is the balanced brain.
These beliefs systems - and I am thinking of Christianity and Buddhism with which I am most familiar - are full of theologies, beliefs, concepts and practices that are intended to lead to the desired changes in behaviour and states of consciousness.
But, out of sight and unknown, there is a very fundamental physiological change that has to take place for these things to happen, and it involves a rewiring of the hardware in our skulls.
Continue reading "The Balanced Brain - The Ultimate Route To Personal Transformation"
To Understand The Truth We Have To See The Whole Picture.
One of the best ways to make better decisions is to have a deeper understanding of the many things that might stop that happening.
To understand the truth we have to look at all the known facts, and see the whole picture which is often not as binary as presented.
In this article we are going to focus on another often overlooked factor, and that is the stories that we tell ourselves, the narratives that we weave, and to look closely at how we can avoid what is referred to as the narrative fallacy.
Continue reading "How To Make Better Decisions - By Avoiding The Narrative Trap"
Yet Most Will Never Know It
Everyone of us has a place, in our hearts there's a space, that is home to the greatest love of all.
This love transcends everything we think we know about the world of form, the realm of thought, ideas, beliefs and dogma.
It transcends all sense of "myself", "my life", "my story", everything that we conventionally think of as "me", in fact it transcends everything that seems to us so real.
This love is the energy of all life, this love is consciousness, the ground of all being, it is not out there, it is in you, it is part of you, it is you.
But, and here's the kicker, you probably don't know it, and you can't feel it.
Continue reading "The Greatest Love - The Most Important Relationship You Will Ever Have"
...And Why It Matters
As human beings we are skating on very thin ice with our sense of self and certainty about "how things are" and what we like to think of as reality:
- What if everything we think we know and base our security and certainty on really is an illusion?
- What if most of the world's major religious and philosophical traditions have actually all been pointing to a far greater truth and reality to which we are oblivious?
- What if there really is a better way of living in alignment with this greater truth and reality?
- What if our blindness to this greater truth and reality and our consequent non-alignment will lead us to a post death oblivion and cause us to miss out on being alive, more alive, and more whole than we had ever been this side of the grave?
Continue reading "Everything Is Connected And Why You Don't Feel It"
How Not To Be Stupid.
Who is in charge of your brain? This is not a silly questions. It matters because the outcomes that you experience in your life are determined by how you respond to the events that impact you.
The quality of your responses are shaped by how effectively you think, and this is a learned skill.
Your ability to think effectively, your responses, and the long term impact of the choices that you make can have a major effect on your health, wealth and happiness.
So let's take a look inside your skull and see if we can figure out who is in charge of your brain and what that means.
The Incredible Benefits Of Selective Attention.
This is not a typical article about how to be a winner. We are not going to talk about goal setting, the importance of habits, the power of focus and all the other usual practical pointers to winning in life.
This article is about how to be a winner on a very large scale.
I am a business man so inevitably my focus is on the world of business, but whilst the principles that I am going to share with you here are derived from the world of investment and business they have a wider application in many different contexts.
These are not only principles but I will also share practical action points on how to be a winner on a large scale.
How To Achieve Your Biggest Objectives.
The metagame approach to life is all about winning and achieving your biggest objectives by:
- Understanding the bigger picture
- Being better by doing things differently
- Making moves that others find hard to imitate or counter
- Redefining the game on your terms and creating your own path to success
The metagame approach to life can be used in various different contexts which may include your career, your business, your education and personal development and even your personal relationships.
This is not about abstract ideas and concepts, this is about actions. Here are 3 strategies for applying the metagame approach to life.
Walking The Path Of Compassion.
Shantideva the 8th century Indian Buddhist sage is famous for his treatise "The Way of the Bodhisattva" delivered as an extended teaching to the monks of Nalanda monastery/university.
In Buddhist terminology a "Bodhisattva" is someone who has taken a vow to put others first and to postpone his/her entry to Nirvana [a permanent state of enlightenment] until all other sentient beings have achieved enlightenment, but what exactly do we mean by enlightenment?
This all sounds very worthy and dramatic, but what does this really mean in practice?
History is always about context, not imposing our own moral values on the past.
For those of us fortunate enough to live within western democracies, we are living in an age where a vociferous and intolerant minority have an uneasy relationship with their own country's history over the past 300 years.
This has led to what has been framed as the ‘culture wars’ that are being actively pursued in our media, public spaces, museums, universities, schools, civil services, local government, business corporations and all other public institutions.
This vociferous and intolerant minority claim that ‘facing up’ to a past which they present as overwhelmingly and permanently shameful is the route to "a more inclusive future".
But is it?
Continue reading "Reframing History - Deconstruction And Discussion Not Destruction"
How To Be Lived By The Tao.
The Tao Te Ching is one of those books that many people read, few understand, and even fewer put into practice.
The only way to know the Tao is to experience it, and it is experienced in your heart not your head.
The words in the Tao Te Ching are not a belief system. This is not something that you can grasp intellectually.
"Only in being lived by the Tao can you truly be yourself."
Continue reading "Tao Te Ching - Connecting To Your True Source Of Power."
Chaos, Disorder And Decay Is The Natural Order Of Things.
Nobody has the perfect life. We all struggle and strive to attain health, wealth and personal happiness.
Yet these three big areas: our health, our wealth and our relationships are where we all get hung out to dry – sooner or later.
To see how things really are is to become conscious of our unconscious assumptions about ourselves and our world, and to bring them into the light of full consciousness, and to notice how, on close inspection, these assumptions often contradict our actual experience.
Continue reading "How Things Really Are - The Inbuilt Design Flaws"
How To Tell The Difference Between Intuition and Anxiety.
How do you know whether the voice of your intuition is real or just the product of your inner anxiety?
Several months ago I was having a drink with a friend and I asked how she was getting on with her boyfriend.
"Oh he's a very good man, a really decent human being, he'd make a wonderful husband and an excellent father... but I'm gonna end it."
So naturally I asked why.
"I have this feeling, this intuitive feeling, that this is not right for me..."
Fast forward 3 months and they were spending their weekends together and planning a holiday in Portugal! I asked what had changed, and why, and she said:
"I now see that so many times when I was dating or in relationships I thought I was hearing my intuition but I was actually hearing anxiety.
Continue reading "Intuition Or Anxiety - Are There Angels Or Devils Crawling Here?"
How the truth and nothing but the truth is often not the whole truth.
My great aunty Flo broke her arm and died.
It is true that she broke her arm in 1923. It is also true that she died in 1949. But there is no cause and effect relationship between these 2 events. The only connection between these events is that they appear in the same sentence.
That is a simple illustration of how the acccurate and honest reporting of two truths is not the whole truth.
To understand the whole truth we have to look at all the known and established facts and see the whole picture, which is often not as binary as it is often presented.
Anything less than this is a partial truth.
Continue reading "What Is Truth - How To Tell A Partial Truth From The Whole Truth?"
Duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuses on the limitations of time, foreground and background, duality and "stuckness".
The first aspect of duality and life beyond your thinking mind focuses on the limitations of time, or more accurately our perception and experience of time.
Put simply, and dramatically, there is no time.
Time – more accurately described as “clock time” or “psychological time” - is a product of the mind.
The course of time is really like the course of a ship in the ocean. The ship moves, and leaves behind it a wake, and the wake fades out, and it tells us where the ship has been in the same way our past, and our memory of the past, tells us where we have been.
Continue reading "Duality And Life Beyond Your Thinking Mind"
Being aware is the first stage of being prepared.
The conscious mind is limited in so many ways. There are some who would argue that there is no such thing as conscious thought and that it is represents little more than an internal multi-modal display of thoughts arising from processes that are hidden to us.
Let's temporarily park the idea that the content of the conscious mind is an illusion and take a practical look at some of the many ways in which the conscious mind is limited, and how to deal with it.
Continue reading "The Conscious Mind Is Limited - Be Aware And Be Prepared"
The big picture of how your inner map of reality creates your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
Your inner map of reality is based on the filters of your own ethnic, national, social, family and religious background, and you interpret and experience life from the perspective of that map.
It can grow, change and adapt in response to new information and this in turn will be heavily influenced by your attitudes and beliefs.
Your inner map of reality will reflect your past experience and therefore influence your expectations and behaviour. It represents the truth as you understand it.
Continue reading "Your Inner Map Of Reality - Here's Why You Think The Way You Do"
Why we need to wear our beliefs lightly and develop negative capability.
Throughout history people have campaigned to fight beliefs, ideologies, and injustices that they perceived to be oppressive, discriminating and morally wrong.
Brave men and women have dedicated their lives to succesfully campaigning to bring about major change in society.
They have achieved this by debate, demonstrations, lobbying, discussion and argument and above all else engagement.
But the failure of cancel culture is that it does not seek engagement. It does not allow for any point of view other than its own.
Continue reading "The Failure Of Cancel Culture - Suppression Not Engagement"
Most People Spend Their Entire Life Imprisoned Within The Confines Of Their Own Thoughts.
This first of the 4 big reasons why we get stuck is, in my view, the most important.
The "self-help industry" generates $ USD billons per year, and many of us buy books and attend courses on how to improve ourselves.
Yet most of the time we don’t change.
We can’t change - it's why we get stuck.
We have unconscious (and thus hidden) resistance. And yet we believe that if we keep on trying we can somehow gain control of our lives.
Continue reading "4 Big Reasons Why We Get Stuck In Our Attempts At Personal Change"
We Would Rather Die Than Change, And We Usually Do
In my experience, the vast majority of people who say they want to change don’t change.
Most people reading this won’t change because they don’t really want to change.
They may on the surface, consciously, believe that they want to change, but there are at least 3 powerful forces at work that will likely undermine you.
Unless you are aware of these forces and know how to deal with them, you will not succeed and you will remain the same as the vast majority of the human race.
Beyond the content of your mind you are so much more than you think you are.
When we talk of "myself" this is the conventional way of referring to our self image which is in fact the ego's construction of its sense of self.
I find it helpful to imagine the ego as our operating system and absolutely essential, in the same way "Windows 11" is essential for successful functioning of our laptops.
But as with "Windows 11", however clever it is, it is just a piece of software. So when we say me, myself or I, metaphorically, think of “Windows 11" with self awareness!
But beyond the content of your mind you are so much more than you think you are...
Continue reading "The Illusion Of A Separate Self - Windows 11 With Self Awareness!"
This is not an instruction manual, it is a wake up call!
Over this past week I have read Professor James Carse's highly regarded "Finite And Infinite Games - A Vision Of Life As Play And Possibility" from cover to cover several times.
It opens with the lines: “There at least two kinds of games. One could be called finite, the other infinite."
Carse uses game theory as an analogy for two alternative views of how to play the game of life.
This is a strange and challenging book that can change what you think you know about life and how you live it.
Continue reading "Finite And Infinite Games - Dazed, Confused & Ultimately Transcendent"
How Your Lizard Brain Sabotages Your Happiness
We are hardwired to measure our progress in any and all areas of life where we have goals and aspirations. We can't not do it.
But what we measure and how we measure matters because our default progress measurement setting leads to self sabotage and results in deep unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our lives.
Continue reading "The Gap And The Gain - How Your Brain Sabotages Your Happiness"
So What Exactly Does It Mean to Wake Up - What Is "Enlightenment"?
There is nothing magical, mystical or mysterious about waking up we’re actually having glimpses of enlightenment all the time.
Enlightenment - waking up - means:
- To be free of the effects of your mind
- To be unencumbered with thoughts about the past or the future
- To be 100% present-moment-aware
This is also sometimes referred to as a "Unity Consciousness".
This is an experience and not an idea. This is not something to attained or sought after. This is a deeply practical way to live.
The focus of this article is to offer 4 simple practices to show you how to wake up and to live like this now:
Continue reading "How To Wake Up - 4 Simple Practices To Help You Wake Up Now"
Situational communication is about taking account of 3 often ignored factors about the other person.
You are a situational communicator when you recognise that effective communication is not an event but a process.
This process is about understanding the other person's past experience, their competence and the way they behave in relation to whatever it is you want to accomplish, and then adopting the appropriate type of communication.
Continue reading "Situational Communication - Different Strokes For Different Folks"
The secret to how to influence without authority is that you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want.
We live in an interconnected world and knowing how to influence without authority is an increasingly important communictation skill.
The fundamental principle of how to influence without authority is mirrored reciprocation whereby you get what you really want by giving other people what they really want.
This goes beyond the transactional and is about building a "win-win" that addresses our deepest needs as human beings.
Continue reading "How To Influence Without Authority - 6 Key Tips"
Asking The Right Questions Is Critical For A Successful Change.
Every time we initiate a significant change - whether in our personal life or in an organisation - we will most likely over-estimate our chances of a successful outcome and under-estimate the likelihood that things will not work out as we had planned.
This article is part of a series on the art of persuasion, communication and change based on my 45 years in business, and I going to share with you a framework of questions that will enable you to successfully handle any significant change.
Group culture is: "How we do things round here".
We like to see ourselves as free agents making our own choices and living authentically but the reality is that The Matrix has many layers and we are unaware that we are more enmeshed and ensnared than we realise.
We are, to a very large extent, governed by our conditioning and our hardwired cognitive biases.
Group culture is another one of those things that also has a very powerful influence on our thought processes, decisions and behaviours.
Here's how group culture affects you and how you can take advantage of it.
Continue reading "Group Culture - The Invisible Software That Rules Your Life"
In circumstances of significant change, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line.
We run our lives largely on auto-pilot. In most circumstances your experience of getting from A to B is relatively smooth and seemless, and when it isn't you have established ways and means of overcoming the bumps and obstructions.
But when getting from A to B involves making significant changes such as (a) doing something new that will change the existing modus operandi; or (b) launching a major initiative or new venture, the progress from A to B will not be in a straight line.
For you as an individual or an organisation it is critical that you apply the "business as usual" test.
Continue reading "Why Getting From A to B Is Not Aways A Straight Line"