The Stockdale Paradox

How To Deal With The Attrition Factor

When it just goes on and on and there is no end in sight...


The Stockdale Paradox. How To Deal With The Attrition Factor. When it just goes on and on and there is no end in sight... Graphic from Amnesty International of a prisoner being tortured.

What Is The Stockdale Paradox?

The Stockdale Paradox is named after the late James Stockdale, former vice presidential candidate, naval commander and prisoner of war during the American-Vietnam war.

It became well known having been featured in author and business guru Jim Collins’ book “Good To Great” following extensive interviews between Collins and Stockdale exploring how Stockdale survived 8 years of imprisonment and torture.

Collins’ specific focus was to identify the principles that underpinned Stockdale’s survival and emergence at the end of the war as not only unbroken but as source of practical inspiration.

Balancing realism and optimism in a dire situation is a key to survival and success

What the Stockdale Paradox means is that in times of prolonged and seemingly never-ending hardship, set-backs, suffering and distress we need to maintain optimism that we will survive and pull through, and yet at the same time balance that with a total realism and practicality about the harsh present realities.

In Stockdale’s own words:


Admiral James Stockton


Paraphrased to its core:

Hope for the best, but acknowledge and prepare for the worst.

Such paradoxical thinking is one of the defining philosophies of many who have made it through severe hardship and eventually reached their goals.

The stockdale paradox offers a balanced approach to surviving hard times that seem to go on and on, with no end in sight.

Suffering IS an integral part of the human condition . It is as though there is an inbuilt design flaw that ensures that we all suffer at some point, one way or another.

Right now, at time of writing, we are all suffering in some way as we come to terms with the aftermath of the Covid pandemic and the Russia-Ukraine war and increasing economic and financial hardships.






The Stockdale Paradox - Coping With The Attrition Factor


Coping With The Attrition Factor

Many, maybe most, of us are capable of coping with challenges and difficulties in the short to medium term.

But in my experience once a challenging situation drags on beyond the one year mark we start to flag, and after two years – with no end in sight – it gets really tough.

This is what I call the attrition factor.

It is this point that we need to apply the Stockdale Paradox.

This means that in addition to maintaining a hope for the future and a pragmatic realism about the present you need to do 3 further things:


(1) Find a way of dealing with the emotional side of your pragmatic realism.

  • There are times when there is nothing more we can do to alleviate the situation. In these circumstances we have two powerful options: we can resist it or we can accept it.
  • The biggest key to all this is to behave and respond in ways that may be completely alien to us by allowing and cultivating a very deep acceptance of what is happening and acknowledging that we are not in control of circumstances and - counter cultural and counter intuitive as this sounds - to go with the flow.
  • The more we can surrender to the flow then the more we automatically become aligned to a far greater dimension of our consciousness than we may have ever previously experienced - this really is the key.
  • It is this alignment with the flow that is the dynamic that will pull us through this difficult situation and it is this alignment that is the source of our self-motivation through and beyond present difficult circumstances.
  • Whether we realise it or not, whether we accept it or not, there is always a spiritual - or energetic - dynamic at work in these situations.



(2) Recognise and understand that you are not your thoughts.

  • Our thoughts can drive us crazy, especially in these difficult situations that drag on, and on…
  • We don’t have complete control over our instinctive emotions, they’re largely involuntary and that’s part of being human. What we do have, though, is control over how we choose to respond to those feelings.
  • The key to this lies in understanding that:
  • What matters is not the content of your thoughts but your relationship with your thoughts
  • See here for practical guidance in dealing with your thoughts and here for further practical support in living with your thoughts.



(3) Transform your “dead time” into “alive time”

  • In Recognising Limbo we talked about "dead time" vs "alive time" and I asked the question: “When you can’t work because you have no work, when you feel stuck and can see no way out of this situation, when you don’t even know if there is an end of the tunnel, what do you do with your time?”
  • In difficult times like these, we can choose to just sit around and feel impatient, resentful, or angry.
  • Or we can we can exercise control over our use of this time figure a way to solve a problem, reach a goal, or help someone else with these things.
  • Dead time can be revived and transformed and used to our and others long term benefit. We can use this time to emerge from this overall situation a better and more resourceful person.













    I never lost faith in the end of the story. I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.

    [Admiral James Stockton]










Next Article: Embrace Your Fear Of Failure And Uncertainty

Return from "The Stockdale Paradox" to: Walking The Talk

Contact me





English Chinese (Traditional) Russian French German Italian Spanish Vietnamese




If you have found this site helpful and would like to support our work


LATEST ARTICLES

  1. And So This Is Christmas

    There Is No Path To Peace - The Path Is Peace Thich Nhat Hanh, the renowned Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist, often spoke about peace as a state of being that begins within on…

    Read More

  2. Curiosity Skilled The Cat - Optimize For Interesting

    Curiosity Fuels Excellence The old adage, “Curiosity killed the cat,” warns of the dangers of venturing too far into the unknown. But what if we reimagine it not as a risk but as a gateway to developi…

    Read More

  3. Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System

    To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…

    Read More

  4. Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated

    Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill. We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…

    Read More

  5. Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going

    The Helsinki Bus Station Theory Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…

    Read More

  6. Zen Thoughts Email Series

    Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…

    Read More

  7. How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure

    Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…

    Read More

  8. How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments

    "The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…

    Read More

  9. Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience

    Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself? Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer. When you can do this you will have a powerful t…

    Read More

  10. Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet

    Standing In The Gap In Conditions Of Imposed Change. This is about imposed change and surviving a dire and desperate situation where you are stuck in a difficult or seemingly impossible set of circums…

    Read More

  11. Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See

    We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the ground. The phrase "preparing the ground" is a metaphor for making the necessary preparations to create the favourable conditions for something to…

    Read More

  12. Easing The Weight Of Expectation

    Don’t you often feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back? Our start point is understanding that the ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be, and its intention and ex…

    Read More

  13. Coram Deo - Living In Consciousness

    In you there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are. Coram Deo is about living in consciousness. It is a Latin phrase which literally means “to…

    Read More

  14. The Power Of Patience - Why You Need The World's Toughest Quality

    Nothing in the world can take the place of patience. Patience and persistence are omnipotent. In everyday life, patience is often overshadowed by the desire for immediate results. We live in an era of…

    Read More

  15. Demonizing The Other and Personal Acts Of Compassion

    What Does Demonizing The Other Mean? Demonizing the other refers to the act of portraying a group of people or an individual as inherently evil, threatening, or inferior. It often serves to justify di…

    Read More




3 Keys Solutions



The Balanced Toolkit