The Time Of Your Life

Recognising Moments Of Alignment For Action

The Time Of Your Life - Setting The Scene

The phrase "the time of your life" has at least three popular associations.

1. It can refer to a famous quote by Armenian author and playwright William Saroyan which is often cited as a call to focus on the positive aspects of life.
2.  Or, more currently, the Green Day song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" which is often used in celebration of life ceremonies. 
3. And of course the most common use of the phrase means to have a really good time - to enjoy yourself very much.

Each of these associations come with a powerful feel-good factor and are really about your life experiences rather than time itself.

In this article I want to look at our relationship with time and in the context of the two main themes of this site, firstly as a thinking skill and secondly from a mindfulness perspective.

I want to side-step the potential rabbit holes of the metaphysical and philosophical speculations that surround this subject and to focus on some practical suggestions for how you can improve your relationship with time and thus improve your health, wealth and happiness.

Firstly some brief contextual observations on:

• Our Experience Of Time
• The Impermanence Of Time
• Time As A Resource
• The Paradox Of Time

Then some practical action points arising from:

• The Relationship Between Time And Mind
• The Seasonality Of Time
• Time And Transition

[1] Our Experience Of Time

The western view of time is linear, a one-way traffic from the past to the future in a cause and effect relationship - the past driving the future.

The eastern view of time is cyclical and sees time as a repeating pattern of seasons or life cycles where cause and effect is based on the karmic interconnectedness of thoughts, intentions and actions and their ripple effect in consequences influencing present and future experience.

However we express it, the time of your life is more accurately described as “clock time” or “psychological time” and it is a product of your mind.

The Wake Doesn't Drive The Ship

The course of time is really like the course of a ship in the ocean. The ship moves, and leaves behind it a wake, and the wake fades out, and it tells us where the ship has been in the same way our past, and our memory of the past, tells us where we have been.

The important point here is that the wake doesn't drive the ship.

The ship creates the wake, and it always creates it now, and leaves a trail behind it.

The course of the ship is set by the captain, and influenced by the interaction of the ship and its environment namely the weather and tidal influences, the proximity of other ships and the directions of its owner.

Resources:

Do We Actually Experience the Flow of Time?

Brain Time

[2] The Impermanence Of Time

The mythical story is told about a king who sought wisdom. He searched all over his kingdom for wisdom and found it when an old sage presented him with a ring with the words inscribed on it:

“This too will pass”.

The wise man counselled the king:

“Wear that ring that at all times and look at it frequently, and regardless of whether you are experiencing good fortune or adversity remind yourself that this too will pass…”

Shantideva And The Race Horse

Shantideva  was an 8th-century CE Indian philosopher, Buddhist monk, poet and scholar at the university at Nalanda and is particularly renowned as the author of what has become known as "A Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life" or "Entering the Path of Enlightenment."

It is a long poem describing the end to end  process of enlightenment and it is still referenced by Buddhist practitioners.

There is one line that I first heard about 20 years ago and it has stuck in mind ever since and it is this:

[3] Time As A Resource

The time of your life is your most precious commodity and yet most of us live as if we have all the time in the world.

• Time is free, but priceless.
• You can spend it, but you cannot store it.
• Once you have used it, you can never get it back.
• Time is the great equalizer.
• Each of us have 168 hours per week.
• Money or fame cannot buy you more weeks, months or years.

[4] The Paradox Of Time

Balancing Present Mindful Action With The Long View

The paradox of the time of your life refers to how you need to balance being fully present in the moment when taking action with the requirements of doing so competently with full preparation and planning.

Mindful action without skill, competence and prior preparation will deliver a sub-optimal result. For example, you can attempt to drive a vehicle mindfully without training and you will most likely crash it or kill someone.

Taking action without doing so mindfully can lead to hesitancy, doubt and fear and increases the risk of failure. We have all seen and experienced vehicle drivers who whilst trained are fearful and hesitant and are ultimately dangerous.

Functioning successfully within the paradox of time means that you have put in the work to have achieved unconscious competence and you have undertaken the necessary planning and preparation to exercise your skills in the successful completion of the required tasks and activities.

In Zen this is known as "Flowing Mind" [Mushin] which is a mindset that is fully present and aware whilst taking action.

This is the mindset of great performers. Great sports people, such as Roger Federer, have this mindset.

Further Reading:

The Balanced Life: The Present Moment and The Long Game

Master The Art Of Drawing The Bow - Focus On Process Not Outcome

Practical Action Points

[A] The Relationship Between Time And Mind

Observations:

• Seconds, hours, days and years are arbitrary divisions of space time to help you try to make sense of it.
• When you think about time you are not directly experiencing it.
• Time is an abstraction that gains a "life" of its own when you focus on it.
• When you watch time you are separated from it.
• Why do you always rush to get away from the present moment?
• Why are you bound to your ideas about a task rather than the reality of it?
• Why is your sense of what is required so distorted by your mind's perception of it's size and duration?
• Your imagination and intellect are tools to be used and then put away when they have done their job.
• You play the game of life in real time.
• Time flows when you stop watching it.
• Release your mind of its time-distorted visions.
• When your mind is clear you just start.

How To Restrain The Elephant Of Your Mind?

The foundation to this is to get a measure of control over your mind.

To transform your relationship with time, you must diligently and consistently, focus on being present.

This is not a state you can just “turn on,” if you aren’t practicing it.

The practice of mindfulness must be like breathing.

Your everyday life must reinforce this.

If you want to transform your relationship with the time of your life, and show what you’ve got under pressure, you have to be prepared by a lifestyle of reinforcement.

Resource:

How To Practice Mindfulness

[B] The Seasonality of Time

I currently live by the sea in a country town in the UK, and this helps me to be very aware of the lunar cycle and the changing tides, and the seasons of nature.

In Ecclesiastes 3 in the Bible the preacher/teacher [alleged to be King Soloman] speaks of the seasonality of time: 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

• A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
• A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up..
• A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance..
• A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

This idea of seasonality was popularised by "The Byrds" in their 1965 song  "Turn! Turn! Turn!".

The seasonality of time can be seen literally in the changing of the seasons within a 12 months time span, or metaphorically as cyclical phases of change that are visible, time limited and that have distinct qualities.

The Cyclicity Of Time

The cyclicity of time refers to longer term patterns like business  or economic cycles of time that aren't as regular as 12 monthly seasons, and may involve some subjectivity in estimation.

Cyclicity may involve longer-term, less predictable fluctuations of environmental conditions that can span multiple years.

Time and The Gestation Period

One of the major features of the cyclicity of the time of your life is that it involves periods of waiting and this can often involve a gestation period when it can take months and sometimes years for your goals to come to fruition.

This is what is referred to as the long game which describes an approach to any area of life that sacrifices short term gains for long-term wins.

There are the hold ups, blockages and setbacks. There is much trial and error, this is a period of deep learning, development and putting down of deep roots. It is hard.

This attrition factor is what wears so many people down and causes them to doubt their purpose, or worse, to give up.

Playing the long game, and paying the price for delayed gratification is hard enough when you are traveling on a well defined route such as qualifying to be a doctor, a lawyer or an academic.

It is twice as hard when you are traveling on a "road less traveled" that is not well defined, where the milestones and metrics are not known when you start out on this journey.

Resource:

The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled - When Playing The Long Game

Your whole attitude to the gestation period is a critical variable in developing your knowledge and skills, and putting down the roots that will enable you to attain your objective.

The bedrock foundation of this is your ability to stay persistent even when - especially when - you are unable to see any growth on the surface.

This insight is powerfully illustrated by the old chinese mythological story of the Chinese Bamboo Tree.

Windows of Opportunity

The gestation period ends with the creation and birth of your long cherished goal.

There is a window of time when this can happen. This is not automatic and you need to be vigilant in order to spot this window of opportunity and take the appropriate action. If you miss it, the opportunity is lost.

When your window of opportunity appears, it is qualitatively different to the time before it and after it.

Ancient Greek Concepts Of Time

To understand this, it is helpful to think in terms of the ancient Greek's understanding of the passage of time.

The ancient Greeks had two concepts of time:

• "CHRONOS"  - which is a quantitative [chronological] measure of time and represents the linear, sequential passage of time that we measure with clocks, calendars, and other instruments. 
• "KAIROS" - which is a qualitative measure of time and signifies the right time for action, the opportune or strategic time, or the critical moment, an inflection point.

Recognising Kairos - "Moments Of Alignment For Action"

[1] Alignment for action

A "kairos moment" refers to an opportune or decisive moment, a time when conditions are right and circumstances align for a decisive action or a significant event.

These are "Moments Of Alignment For Action".

[2] Anticipation

A troubling feature of moments of alignment for action is that you can see them most clearly when they are behind you.

They are often not what we think are the big moments. Metaphorically speaking they can come "like a thief in the night".

For example, it can be the unplanned meeting with a strategic person in whom you sow an unforgettable impression that speaks for you in a later conversation that you are unaware of.

You need to be prepared and ready to spot and seize these moments of alignment.

[3] You can't make them happen

These moments of alignment for action, are not something you can force or manufacture; they are recognized and seized when they arise.

There are 2 foundational concepts that can help you understand some of the dynamics behind these moments:

1. They can occur as a result of the interaction of the many "moving parts" within a complex system.
2. They can occur as inflection points where the build up of forces into a critical mass can lead to a spontaneous opportunity that can create an irreversible change of direction.

No matter how long or difficult the gestation period is, it is impossible to force this.

Contrary to popular self-help beliefs:

1. Taking "massive action" will not make it happen.
2. You are not in control of what happens, you have influence but not control.

Resource:

Inflection Points - Reaching Critical Mass And The Tipping Point

Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated

[C] Time And Transition

We have already discussed the impermance of time but we often overlook 2 important factors:

[1] Transition

The constant external change of circumstances, situations and circumstances that are imposed upon you by life has an internal psychological and emotional impact on you that is referred to as transition.

Transition is the internal process that you have to go through as you make your readjustment and realignment to the new realities.

An important aspect of this personal transition is developing and improving your capacity and capability to spot and seize moments of alignment for action.

Your capacity and capability is based on learning how to not think.

[2] Complexity

We treat life as though it is a complicated system, and our thinking skills and mental models are focused on understanding its moving parts in the belief that this will increase our control of the outcomes of our decisions and actions.

But unfortunately this is an illusion.

Why? Life is a complex system that functions within totally different parameters, so whilst we may gain a measure of control it is limited, and ultimately we set ourselves up for failure.

Complex systems involves a holistic approach which focuses on the dynamics of the interactions between the multiple component parts of the system.

When living within a complex system, knowing how to "do without doing" is an important skill.

These skills and practices are deeply intuitive and are all about influence rather than control.

It is essential to let stillness speak into your thought processes and decision making.

Resource:

Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System

Ancient Greek Concepts Of New

The last point I want to make about this personal transition is that it needs to include a qualitative change within you in order to improve your capacity and capability to spot and seize moments of alignment for action.

To return to the the ancient Greeks, they had 2 words for "new":

• "NEOS"  - which is a quantitative [chronological] change. In practical terms this means that the "old" you just shows up at a new time.
• "KAINOS" - which is a qualitative change. In practical terms this means that you undergo a qualitative change, which means that you show up with newly developed capacity and capability to spot and seize moments of alignment for action.

It's your choice which you shows up to spot and seize moments of alignment for action.

A final thought about the time of your life:

P.S. Food For Thought

Are you open to the perspective [put forward by the physicist-philosopher and Nobel Prize winner John Wheeler] that we live in a participatory universe?

Can a qualitative change within you impact the arrival of a moment of alignment for action?

Complex systems thinking [which is rooted in scientific principles and methodologies] teaches us that:

1. The relationship between cause and effect in complex systems is often nonlinear. A small change in one part of the system can have a disproportionately large effect elsewhere; and
2. The interconnectedness of the multiple moving parts within a system leads to the emergence of behaviours and events arising from the interaction of these parts.

Is it too big a stretch to consider [as a number of scientists do] that consciousness is also an integral aspect of a complex system?

In my view I feel that is safe to assume that there may be a correlationship between "inner" consciousness within you and "external" consciousness "out there".

In which case maybe would you be well advised to behave as if there is a causal link?

Further Reading & Resources:

The Long Game - Delay Gains Now To Get More Later

The Challenges Of The Road Less Traveled - When Playing The Long Game

Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System

Recognising Limbo As A Stage Of Transition

Return from "The Time Of Your Life" to: Walking The Talk

Contact me