Are You Waiting For Change?
Always Looking Forward Or Back, Anywhere But Now!
Waiting For Change - Overview
Stuckness
I don't know about you, but I have spent great chunks of my life waiting for change - waiting for things out there to get better so that I could feel better inside me:
"If only I got a lucky break and won a new client and earned more money, then I could pay my debts and afford to move to a better house in a better location....and a better life..."
"If only people listened to me..."
"If
only I knew the missing piece - that one thing - that will enable me
to really make some big changes in my circumstances..."
"If only...."
It is always: "If only..."
I was "stuck in waiting" - a very similar state to being stuck in seeking.
Always Looking Forward Or Backwards
One of the core features of being stuck in any mental and emotional state is that it is either looking forwards or looking backwards.
Forwards looking states are usually associated with positive and aspirational emotions - and we think of them as a "good thing" and something to be achieved. So we have these associated states of waiting and seeking.
Whereas we usually associate backwards looking states as a "bad thing" and we get stuck in states of mistrust, fear, anxiety and many other manifestations of emotional and psychological pain.
Focused Anywhere But Now
The common thread running through all these states is that they are focused anywhere and everywhere but the present moment.
Waiting for change means that you don’t have it – it’s over there – up there – out
there – ahead of you – away from you – in the future – separate from you -
anywhere in fact but HERE NOW.
This applies to all of us who are seeking any form of self-improvement, self-development or spiritual transformation.
It took me so long, so many years, to finally realise that I had it all the wrong way round and what was needed was a 180 degrees shift in focus.
For things out there to change something inside of me had to change first.
When was that change going to take place? The only time it ever can take place - now.
Deal With Your Resistance And Give Yourself Permission
There was a situation in my own life about 30
years ago when I unconsciously resisted looking inside myself to make
some personal changes.
I used to wait for things to change “out there”. I was continually scouring the landscape looking for evidence of change happening "out there" so that I could feel better. I was grounded in, and fixated on, circumstances.
Once I realised that feeling better was an internal
state, and that my experience of life was ultimately dependent on that change taking place first, I then came face-to-face with my resistance to doing this and that I gave myself permission to make the change inside of me.
Further Reading:
- Stuck In Seeking
- The Power Of Expectation
- How Can I Change My Mind
- Framing
- Change Comes From Within
- The Power Pause
Return from "Waiting For Change" to: Walking The Talk
Contact me
LATEST ARTICLES
Let Stillness Speak - Living Within A Complex System
To let stlllness speak is to learn it's first major lesson: you are not your thoughts. To let stillness speak is about stepping back from the constant chatter of your mind and allowing a deeper, quiet…Understanding Complex Systems Thinking - It's Not Complicated
Understanding, and being able to work with, complexity is an important thinking skill.
We are all working with complex systems, and we do so every day. The biggest one is life itself. We automaticall…Stay On The Bus - When To Keep On Going
The Helsinki Bus Station Theory
Have you ever started a new project, initiative or role with a big vision and a determination to make a difference? Initially you were full of enthusiasm and highly mo…Zen Thoughts Email Series
Conversations With A Friend Zen Thoughts is an email series of 50 short messages spread over 3 months. The messages are written in the style of a conversation with a friend who is going through a toug…How to Get What You Value by Changing What You Measure
Give Up Control & Gain Influence To Get What You Want
The metrics we choose to focus on can significantly shape our outcomes, sometimes in ways we don't intend. The challenge is to make sure that you…How to Become A Master At Overcoming Hard Moments
"The best in the world are not the best because they win every point. It's because they lose again and again and have learned how to deal with it." This quote from Roger Federer has got a lot of cover…Drop The Story - Deal With Your Demons and Transform Your Experience
Are you living your life from the stories you tell yourself? Learning how to drop the story and deal with that voice in your head can be a game changer. When you can do this you will have a powerful t…Standing In The Gap Between No Longer And Not Yet
Standing In The Gap In Conditions Of Imposed Change. This is about imposed change and surviving a dire and desperate situation where you are stuck in a difficult or seemingly impossible set of circums…Preparing The Ground - For Things You Can Not See
We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the ground. The phrase "preparing the ground" is a metaphor for making the necessary preparations to create the favourable conditions for something to…Easing The Weight Of Expectation
Don’t you often feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your back? Our start point is understanding that the ego has a very clear idea of how things ought to be, and its intention and ex…Coram Deo - Living In Consciousness
In you there is a dimension of consciousness far deeper than thought. It is the very essence of who you are. Coram Deo is about living in consciousness. It is a Latin phrase which literally means “to…The Power Of Patience - Why You Need The World's Toughest Quality
Nothing in the world can take the place of patience. Patience and persistence are omnipotent. In everyday life, patience is often overshadowed by the desire for immediate results. We live in an era of…Demonizing The Other and Personal Acts Of Compassion
What Does Demonizing The Other Mean? Demonizing the other refers to the act of portraying a group of people or an individual as inherently evil, threatening, or inferior. It often serves to justify di…Why You Should Embrace Anomalies - The Incredible Value Of Disconfirming Evidence
Is Your Desire To Be Right Greater Than Your Desire To Have Been Right? An anomaly is a deviation from what is expected or commonly regarded as the norm. It often appears as an unexpected observation…Amazing Grace - The Majesty And The Mercy of Freedom From Your Pain
"I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind, but now I see." The hymn and popular song "Amazing Grace" was written 250 years ago by John Newton, a former slave trader who in 1748 nearly died in a…